#smol gay lizard

[monzathekobold]

Call me "smol" one more time! I heckin' dare you, you beautiful slut! 😤

Art 🎨 by @aktiloth

[hiss-from-sun-golden-scales]

do you like men

[gaydragontournament]

ROUND 3: PART 1

Propaganda under cut

Xue Xian (Copper Coins (Tong Qian Kan Shi) (铜钱龛世))

● A literal dragon in canon m/m relationship. Got stuck in the mortal world after getting grievously injured (he's paraplegic for most of the story) and ended up going on an adventure to retrieve his missing body parts with this one amnesiac Buddhist monk he accidentally met. They butt heads a lot in the beginning, but slowly fall in love over the course of the novel. Also while Xue Xian does have a human form, he also comes in big noodle and smol noodle variants (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) As a smol noodle, he wraps around his bf's wrist like a bracelet!

● Is he a dragon? Yes! Xue Xian is a dragon god who got his spinal column stolen (yeah it's kinda complicated) and now journeys across the land searching his bones because he wants his spinal column back, damn it.

Is he gay? Yes! Along the way, he encounters this quiet, stoic, so-damn-annoying bald monk guy named Xuanmin whom he does not like, okay?!? He doesn't like him at all! Sure, he ripped out his dragon scale as a gift for him, but that's only because Xuanmin helped him first and he doesn't wanna be indebted! Sure, he feels compelled to annoy Xuanmin 24x7, but that's only because Xuanmin deserves it! Sure, he thinks Xuanmin's wrists look lovely, but that doesn't mean anything, he's just being objective, you know?!? He doesn't like this guy at all!!! (Spoilers: He totally does, and they end up spending the rest of their immortal lives together as lovers, bickering for all eternity.)

Whiptail Lizard (Real Life)

●this particular species of lizard is the gayest thing in the animal kingdom.

-they are all female and reproduce asexually

-but still have been seen performing mating rituals with other female lizards, and are more likely to reproduce if they do this.

-they exist in real life like that’s so incredibly gay

-no male lizards whatsoever and thus all of them are lesbians

-also so incredibly lizard adorable like look one up

[silverliningsrr]

Character Focus: Vex!

Art commissioned from Shasta, who has requested to remain otherwise anonymous. Book release here!

Vex started off as both "I need to have a lizardman in my story" and also "I need to have a wizard in my story". These are non-negotiable aspects of fantasy storytelling.

Where was I?

Oh, right! Okay, so, lizard wizards. I mean, for one thing, lizard wizard is a delight to say. For the other, he kind of fulfilled a role as "the guy that explains stuff to Derivan, who has no real clue about how all these Real People go about their business, and has been very badly pretending for like two years".

He also started off as essentially the most developed character, I think, just by virtue of the fact that he had a hobby (art and sketching) and the others don't really have their hobbies come up very much.

The problem with his hobby is that he can't share his sketchbook with anyone because it is filled with an embarrassing number of sketches of one particular teammate. Whoops.

He dresses up as a rogue, ostensibly to confuse enemies, and also because he finds wizard robes to be impractical, even with their stat bonuses. This may or may not be partially because he is smol and the sleeves of robes all droop over his hands.

I actually don't really have much of a goal with these character focuses, I just ramble about whatever I can think about. Uh, he's also hopelessly gay? Yes. That.

If you like Vex you should check out the book he's from, The Fabric of Reality, which has an audiobook that's narrated by Travis Baldree. His Vex voice is so good, you guys.

Also I've been having a bad few days and writing about Vex makes me feel better, so... does that mean Vex is my emotional support lizard wizard?

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Now to roast Paldea and Kitakami before Sylveon does!(spoilers for people who are buying the entire dlc on Christmas and want to go in blind)

Sprigatito: There are two main sides of sprigatito fans, the rule 34 side and the 4/20 side.

Floragato: Why did you ditch the yo-yo when you evolved, that just makes it pointless!

Meowscarada: The delphox for cat lovers.

Fuecoco: You can join slowpoke in the "No thoughts, head empty" club.

Crocalor: So was the sombrero just a phase!?

Skeledirge: I would have no idea you were a singer if it wasn't for your signature move.

Quaxly: The Donald Duck pokemon.

Quaxwell: You're name is literally Maxwell with a qu instead of an m!

Quaquaval: I know it's 2023 and straight men can present themselves as flamboyant as they want, but this is literally just a gay version of blaziken!

Lechonk: Mmmm bacon....

Oinkolonge: Is this supposed to be the phrase "putting lipstick on a pig" given physical form?

Tarountula: With all that silk on your back, you're basically a walking yarn ball!

Spidops: This is based on the creepiest looking spider, arachnophobes beware...

Nymble: They're a bit more forgettable compared to many other bug pokemon.

Lokix: I really wish that the first bug/Dark pokemon would've been more interesting.

Pawmi: The first pikaclone to evolve, it only took us two decades after pikaclones were introduced.

Pawmo: My roasts about electrode, but with the name placements swapped.

Pawmot: You're only known for being Nemona's signature pokemon.

Tandemaus and Maushold: The first pokemon to canonically have s€x.

Fidough: Butter dog, the dog with the butter.

Dachsbun: Gamefreak, are you never gonna give us a fire/fairy type!?

Smoliv: What can I say about it other than it's smol?

Doliv: If you find this hot, turn yourself into the police.

Arboliva: "Then I saw her face, now I'm Arboliva!"(I'm sorry for that crappy joke)

Squawkabilly: Introducing, Chatot 2.0! Comes in four different flavors, blueberry, sour apple, lemon, and vanilla.

Nacil, Naclstack, and Garganacl: "Insert Minecraft joke here"

Charcadet: It's just a child.

Armarouge: Megamen but red.

Ceruledge: The edgy Armarouge.

Tadbulb: Who put a tadpole in a lightbulb!?

Bellibolt: You'd think with how much Iono hyped this pokemon up that it would be her signature pokemon, but no.

Wattrel and Kilowattrel: The better wingull and Peliper.(I feel like a lot of people want me dead now)

Maschiff: It's dex entry speaks for itself.

Mabosstiff: I can't roast a pokemon Arven loves dearly and jumped through so many hoops to keep alive.

Shroodle: It barley looks anything like the pokemon it evolves into!

Grafaiai: it's a spray paint gremlin.

Bramblin and Brambelghast: Someone round them up before they accidentally ravage Paldea to a wasteland!

Toedscool: I used to hate it until I saw it run with its feet tentacles.(it's so funny)

Toedscreul: It's just as cruel as the pokemon it's based on.

Klawf: I'm so happy that everyone gets to eat the crab this time.

Capsakid: The fact that people use its teeth for cooking makes me uncomfortable.

Scovillan: Why does the green head use fire moves when it's red peppers that are spicier?

Rellor: It's a dung beetle with the face of a proboscis monkey, need I say more?

Rabsca: So is the ball it carries its baby or it's soul, it seems like the pokedex can't make up its mind.

Flittle: This thing looks like candy.

Espathra: The Lady Gaga pokemon.

Tinkatink, Tinkatuff, and Tinkaton: Someone call steel type protective services!

Wiglett: It's a goofy eel!

Wugtrio: They look like hotdogs.

Bombirder: This is definitely a dark twist on the baby delivering stork.

Finizen: Finally, after eight generations, we have a dolphin pokemon.

Palafin: It's ironic that the dolphin pokemon is a hero when real life dolphins are evil.

Varoom and Revavroom: Is the first poison/steel types being egines supposed to be a social commentary on how gas cars are bad for the environment?

Cyclizar: Behold, lizard bike!

Orthworm: How can I roast orthworm when it is such derp baby?

Glimmet: It looks like a certain type of plug.

Glimmora: Why was this Geeta's ace instead of kingambit!?

Grevard: This dog is cute yet terrifying at the same time.

Houndstone: The "why isn't this a rock type" pokemon.

Flamigo: I know the design isn't really creative, but I'm glad we finally got a flamingo pokemon.(I've been wanting one ever since I saw a fake leak of an flamingo based Alolan dodrio.)

Cetoddle: It's a baby whale, I can't roast that.

Cetitan: Looks way stronger than it actually is.

Vuluza: Leave me alone, damn you!

Dondozo: This is just wishcash on steroids.

Tatsugiri: Mmmm sushi....

Annihilape: Poor primape, no one cared about it until it died.

Clodsire: It looks like an éclair.

Dudunsparce: The joke evolution dunsparce deserved.

Kingambit: Why is this pokemon thicc!?

Great Tusk: This pokemon is a badass mammoth, what's there to make fun of!?

Scream Tail: The second shiny I've ever failed.(I thought the regular had red eyes)

Brute Bonnet: Why does it have three legs?

Flutter Mane: You're not a paradox pokemon, you're just a misdreavus with crazier hair, don't lie.

Slither Wing: This is actually a really cool design.

Sandy Shocks: This past paradox makes the least amount of sense!(that's probably the point though)

Iron Threads: It's clear which version had more thought put into their paradox designs.

Iron Bundle: Is this supposed to be a social commentary about how fake and consumeristic Christmas has become?

Iron Hands: "Alright, Pinhead. You're time is up"

Iron Jungulis: Is that even a word!?

Iron Moth and Iron Thorns: It's just Mothra and Mecha Godzilla.

Frigibax, Arctibax, and Baxcalibur: These are all just icy Godzillas!

Gimmigoul: This has got to be one of the most annoying pokemon to evolve!

Gholdengo: It looks like a mascot for string cheese.

Wo-Chien: This is the third grass/dark type in this game!

Chien-Pao: It has the least realistic design out of the four.(But they're still my favorite)

Ting-Lu: I've heard of pinhead but I've never heard of domehead!

Chi-Yu: How are you able to see if you have beads for eyes?

Roaring Moon: This is just an improved redesign of mega salamance.

Iron Valiant: The only future paradox worth catching outside of completing the pokedex.

Koraidon and Miraidon: So Arven's parents, were these pokemon worth dying over!?

Walking Wake and Iron Leaves: So what will you choose? An awesome and ferocious water dragon beast, or a robotic deer thing?

Dipplin: Mmmm caramel apple....

poltchageist: As sadistic as most other ghost types.

Sinistcha: Tis just proves that the ghost type is actually the evil type and not the dark type.

Okidogi: Literally just a green buff doge.

Munkidori: The new ugliest psychic type.

Fezandipiti: Damn, look at those eyelashes!

Ogrepon: She killed the loyal three just because they stole her masks, I don't think that's a proportional punishment.(J.K I know she didn't kill them on purpose)

Blood Moon Ursaluna: It's a zombie bear.(not really)

Raging Bolt: "It's a giraffe!"

Iron Crown: Definatly boring when compared to raging bolt.

Archladon: Ah yes, buildings definitely evolve into bridges.

Terapagos: This pokemon looks terrible without its makeup.

(How do you like that, Sylveon!? I roasted Paldea and Kitakami before you!)

[ribstongrowback]

Other notable recs to make full use of your Math Orb Suite:

Esoteric enterprises: Be gay do crime in a modular urban fantasy enfvironment. procedurally generate a mega dungeon under some city and start digging for adventure.

Wolfpacks and Wintersnow: Prehistoric roleplaying where you're early humans surviving the ice age and also there's monsters. Also weird magics and interesting takes on survival gameplay and economics if that's something you want.

Mausritter: Smol mouse in big scary world, focus is on inventory management and being smart about the small pieces of junk your character can carry.

Era of Silence: Funky sort of cyberpunk post apocalypse thing with gender lizards and vampire bird people. Focused on fast paced and tactical gun combat if you like to take that part of a game seriously without making it boring for everyone forever.

The Electrum Archive: Fascinating science fantasy setting where money is a magical ink that powers ancient machinery and allows you to cast spells by calling out their names. Very fun magic system, fun combat system, inspired world with shroom people and underground ant hive cities.

all the non-dnd ttrpgs ive seen use only d6s. are there others that use all the same dice as dnd? i love my fun plastic chunks

savage worlds doesn't use all the same dice but it gets close, using everything from a d4 up to a d12. lancer uses d20s, d6s, and d4s, but i think that's it. pathfinder 2e also uses all those funky little polyehdrons i think

[nyansense-the-nyanbinary]

More memes for Rainbow Pollination!

[nyansense-the-nyanbinary]

I AM A RAINBOW FOUNTAIN OF MEMES FOR RAINBOW POLLINATION

[shinobicyrus]

In your big D&D gender/sexuality post, what about a few of the less commonly picked races like the four Genasi, Aasimar, etc.? I need more un-bad gender and sex stuff in D&D because it's Real Bad.

I wanted to stick to the traditional playable D&D races but you asked nicely and I’m hyper and need to distract myself so sure, friend, let’s do this.

Aasimar: Unlike many of the mixed-race folk, who feel torn between two worlds, Aasimar tend to embrace their Celestial heritage more than their human, and are passionate about being a force for Good and equality for others, especially the downtrodden or abused. Though not as misunderstood or prejudiced against as say, tieflings, they always grew up as Strange Outsiders, and are more sensitive and empathetic to the plight of others. 

Not a lot of emphasis on gender or sexuality here because, with some exceptions, Aasimar are Probably the most accepting, non-judgemental individuals around. Pan-religious, pan-sexual, pan-gender, whatever. they put the Good in Lawful Good.They are the great Charitable Idealists and Activists, using their magnetic personalities and divine magic to make the World a Better Place™.

Genasi: The penultimate wild childs - whether they’re out to carve out their own kind of Order or championing chaos and disrupting the establishment, they are artists and philosophers, wanderers, warriors, and wizards; passionate maybe to a fault and always out to prove something- to both the world and themselves, too- being their own harshest critics. 

Probably the most in-your-face of all the races- they’re the embodiment of the primordial elements themselves; they are who they are and don’t give a fuck what you think about them. 

Someone may ask an earthsoul genasi if they are a man or a woman and get the reply, “I am of the earth.”Cold, superior watersouls may embrace you like a gentle tide or drown you like a typhoon, if you cross them. A female firesoul might have hair cut short like a candleflame, proudly showing off the szuldar markings on her bare arms, or male airsouls wearing pretty, flamboyant clothes with long hair sparking and swaying like a moody spring storm.

Come to think of it, if Tumblr as a Whole was any DnD race, they’d probably be Genasi.

Kobold: (technically a non-playable race, but whatevs I homebrew) Are interesting. Their tribes are usually big and overcrowded, and being communal egg-layers there is less emphasis on biological parents and more the entire clan or tribe being ones “family.” There is little to no identifiable physical dimorphism among genders with kobolds, with no real concept of privacy, division based on gender roles, or even a nudity taboo- clothes are more for practicality (pockets are useful) picking an outfit for decoration or prestige, or just because other races get really weird seeing kobolds wandering around in the buff, otherwise. Weirdos.

Really, they don’t get most races obsession with sexualizing everything. To them, sex is for procreation and duty to the tribe. Anything Kobolds would see as ‘romance’ is deeply close platonic relationships, displaying a kind of Love other races might qualify as being “soulmates.”

I’m sure there are a few outliers, with some kobolds experiencing a joint pull of physical attraction and emotional love, which might explain the occasional kobold who leaves the comfort of their tribe to try to live and adventure among the other people’s of Faerun, who may or may not be welcoming.

[kotikaleo]

Hello I would like to inform you that your beautiful art of smol gay skeletons helped me to not die of a heart attack after experiencing the aftermath of my sibling’s lizard perishing at fucking 4:00am

So like thanks for that man I appreciate it

I'm happy my art helped you uωu

[teaveetamer]

I re-read Flayn and Dimitri's support. Dimitri's totally not interested in Flayn that way, but she's legit telling him she can only sleep if he's next to her. Smol lizard is horny. Hopefully Seteth never heard that.

NGL their entire support chain is what makes me think Dimitri is just like. Gay as fuck.

Flayn: I’ll only be able to sleep with your cock stuffed six inches inside of me

Dimitri: That’s a very strange thing to say!

But then his relationships with men be like

Dedue: I want to call you my friend

Dimitri:  😳 😳 😳 Oh Dedue  😳 😳 😳 Please call me your friend  😳 😳 😳 Again and again  😳 😳 😳 Oh you’re so overprotective  😳 😳 😳 *slowly takes clothes off* Do you want to  😳 😳 😳 rub ointment on my bare back?  😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 Just to commemorate this occasion of course  😳

[nyansense-the-nyanbinary]

TmT

Noooo

Because there are plenty of people out there who are still lost. And even more who will try to gain everything they can from their sorrow.

Some Ilia love for ya’ll. Hope to see more from her soon.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X12 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​​​​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat: welp i guess we'll start?

Giulia: Ye

Zee: I know we’re not ready but yes

Nat: count as usual?

Giulia: U r the only one ready snort

Zee: Shush I’m faking it

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Zee: The recap

Giulia: Already hate it

Giulia: ...kaia

Giulia: Ok but i loved dean shout there

Giulia: But i also don t give a fuck about kaia

Nat: i could make a list of people i don't give a fuck about

Giulia: Why the empty has a dick

Nat: earth 2

Giulia: Look how much-waisted air time

Nat: this better go somewhere

Zee: What is he on?

Giulia: Oh look das me every time a clerk looks too clingy

Zee: President Hillary Clinton

Giulia: Nice

Giulia: Radio shed ads look like mediaworld *winks in italian*

Zee: Can he shut up?

Giulia: Nerd

Giulia: Oh and another nerd

Nat: weird that on every earth people are still dumb as fuck

Giulia: The World

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: Yeah that looks my kinda world

Giulia: Aaah beard dean

Zee: Other toys

Nat: He can't even make a world that's gonna function

Giulia: I can get what I want from a hundred worlds

Giulia: What she said

God/ ME A DESTIEL SHIPPER ABOUT DESTIEL ENDGAME: Dean says I'm not gonna get the ending I want. And I don't know. Maybe... I...I mean, that shouldn't matter, right?  I've gotten what I want from hundred of Sams and Deans. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don't care.

Nat: you can see the green screen. I mean him standing before one

Giulia: Amazing

Zee: Clear the board

Giulia: Can he clean this one too. I think he’s already doing it

Nat: our world

Nat: how do you know. still, he doesn't take out the dumb

Zee: Vegan

Giulia: ...vegan lasagna *cringes in Italian*

Giulia: Because he feels for them. Between similars u no

Giulia: Aah veins

Zee: I still don’t like it

Giulia: Ah so we are actually where we left off. I can tell u where my head is

Zee: I can tell you where I want his head to be

Giulia: Ooooh nice

Giulia: Look at Jack hair tho

Giulia: BABE

Nat: "I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH HER" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Giulia: 50k

Giulia: Scythe kink

Nat: ouch

Zee: FOCUS

Giulia: Bottom Dean

Nat: on what? dildo scythe?

Giulia: Please comment and reblog

Giulia: Hey

Giulia: No OnE

Zee: Is jack chubbier?

Giulia: Don t talk to my son like this

Zee: Sam should stop doing that thing with his face

Nat: He's just older

Giulia: I can count his gray hair

Giulia: ...

Giulia: AAAAAAAAH beautiful

Zee: How domestic

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Look at that little smile

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: thank you for a small bubble of happiness. That shook my soul a bit

Zee: They seem a little happy. I’m scared. Oh there it is

Giulia: That’s a fancy-ass whiskey bottle. I want it

Zee: Kaia came looking for the spear

Giulia: Cute where is cas

Zee: Babysitting

Giulia: Of course she kicks their asses

Giulia: I wanna choke him too

Nat: they can't even fight one small girl. they're getting old

Zee: Can he get any deeper?

Giulia: What she said

Zee: THE VOIVE I MEAN

Giulia: Oh come on HOW CONVENIENT

Giulia: they pulled a Mary Winchester

Zee: Snort

Nat: i don't know what to think about all this

Giulia: Oh looks it’s us after the coronavirus. Eating lizards

Nat: I mean

Giulia: I just watch

Nat: I would eat it 🤷🏻‍♀

Zee: Dean said not tasted kinda decent

Nat: do I have to

Zee: YES

Giulia: SNORT

Zee: SEE? Babysitting

Giulia: ...listen….How in the hell...War Strategist angel of the lord cas loses at force 4. Fuck off

Giulia: Always makeup on point

Giulia: Not Kaia not helping

Nat: oh I see jody had time for lash extensions

Giulia: She must not be in quarantine

Giulia: ...La piegatrice mondiale. What a horrible translation

Giulia: Oh dean has nice hair. I wanna pull it

Zee: This is going so well

Giulia: Look at cas hair

Nat: He always goes like "Cas-tee-el"

Giulia: Tee-el

Zee: Are you only looking at hair?

Giulia: Cas sounds so done

Zee: But so good

Giulia: WHAT A SOFT LOOK I HATE IT DON T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

Giulia: A bit of a smokey eye on Kaia, What she used? Burned sticks? charcoal? Burned lizard’s tails?

Zee: Is it me or Jody looks older and Cas looks younger?

Nat: sorry but not Kaia can go fuck herself

Giulia: WHATEVER

Nat: so much airtime

Giulia: WASTED

Giulia: ...Shouldn’t he be strong af

Nat: I hate that the female's make up is always on point.

Zee: He’s gonna do something stupid

Giulia: Definition of a Winchester

Giulia: What a dad tone

Nat: I like Merl. Merl is me

Giulia: HEEEEY

Giulia: AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Giulia: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nat: Winchester dumb

Zee: Winchester dumb

Giulia: what a mood

Nat: she's my fave character

Giulia: I love her

Nat: i want her in all the ep

Giulia: I stan her

Nat: give her more air time

Giulia: She’s the smartest in the room

Giulia: What a sassy reaper. Like my fav sassy demon

Giulia: I love how the Winchesters are there watching, being all: yup, that’s our dumb kid

Nat: Winchester stupid

Zee: They know she’s right

Giulia: DONT BORROW MY ANGEL LIKE A BATTERY

Zee: Dead angel walking

Nat: I seriously thought Cas holds out the cup he ejaculated in like in a sperm bank

Giulia: Can I unread this

Nat: No u can't, that's what happens when I’m in lockdown

Giulia: Look at that cutie with his cute backpack

Nat: boy scout dean

Zee: Sam’s smirk

Giulia: Babysitting again

Giulia: BS angel chivalry

Giulia: SHE���S SO DONE

Giulia: love it

Nat: she should have said "in your own time"

Giulia: Me and you have all eternity, they don’t

Giulia: ...wasting seconds of intense glares

Giulia: Oh look the gremlins again

Giulia: The last healthy Italians vs the infected ones

Giulia: Last Toilet paper’s rolls and dumb scared people

Nat: snorts

Zee: You’re on a roll

Giulia: Dean eyelashes are fluttering in the wind. Sam needs a hair elastic

Nat: I wish something else would flutter in the wind

Giulia: my fucks

Zee: Hey kid

Giulia: WHY ARE THEY HUGGING

Zee: It’s before corona

Nat: I thought they didn't like each other that much

Giulia: Exactly. They have like 0 relationship, I don’t understand

Nat: It's weird.

Nat: if she should hug someone it should be sam. but what do I know

Zee: Have y’all understood the point of all this? Cause I haven’t

Giulia: Literally none

Nat: I’m bothered by all the other things

Giulia: She had time to do her eyelashes

Nat: so we did literally waste an ep with getting Kaia back, like for real? I watched this?

Giulia: ...AH

Nat: you know the last season could have been so fucking good

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: K

Nat: ah

Zee: She found out

Giulia: What a meme

Giulia: Billy: last season

The reaper: my joy

Giulia: Death is angry

Zee: I was busy In Italy

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat: Merl had one job

Giulia: The writers had one job

Nat: Billy is us because she has no patience in them wasting an ep freeing Kaia

Giulia: Then u killed me

Giulia: Smoulder time

Giulia: Aaaah a baby

Zee: What?

Nat: Meh

Giulia: Why

Nat: God's destruction is Jack

Giulia: Another meme

Giulia: Writers

Giulia: Us asking if season15 will be amazing

Nat: right

Giulia: Go watch the promo

Nat: is that a fiat

Giulia: That’s a 500, my old car snort

Nat: Are they gay antiques, dealers

Zee: Apart from the reaper everything else was pretty lame. We waited almost two months for that?

Giulia: We went through corona for that

Nat: they look like gay antique dealers. especially being outraged when Sam has to lose the man bun

Giulia: With their cardigans and shit

Giulia: We should all live together. Yikes. They gonna die

Nat: they would scream

Giulia: High pitched

Zee: Tf did I just watch ? Loved deans bracelets tho

Giulia: They’re Jensen’s . Probably

Giulia: Oh maybe they are sam and dean that grew up as men of letters

Zee: Gay men of letters

Giulia: Can they get hot and bothered by Castiel?

Zee: Maybe not both of them

Giulia: Nah Nah both

Zee: Will the angel be gay too?

Giulia: There will be no angel probably. Also, Angels are probably sexless so who cares.

Kat: Y’all finished?

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Yes

Kat: And?

Giulia: WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR

Zee: LLLAAAAMMMEEE

Nat: I wasted my time

Kat: Yeah. Who gives a flying fuck about Kaia. Literally no one

Giulia: guess they are tying the loose ends

Kat: No one has thought about her in 2 years, she was a dead end

Giulia: Idk what the point was

Kat: Idk to have Jack use his powers for some reason? Surely they could have found something better

Giulia: Idk man. Between this fucking virus and jib and life and this writing, I’m very much blegh. I mean I love my boys. But

Zee: Let’s just hope they give them a decent ending and not something so lame that it will ruin everything

Nat: You love them and you want the best for them. not half-assed writing

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: lol what show have you been watching the last season

Kat: Yeah. It’ll be ruined. I have no hope of anything else

Nat: I don't have much hope but also that will maybe make me feel better when it's not as bad as I think it will be

Zee: I know but I can’t let it drag me down

Giulia: Yup

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.

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[scaredandbored]

no one asked but here are my sexuality hc for the star treks i’ve watched so far ok here we go (also obviously just my own headcanons feel free to ignore em please dont yell at me lmao)

tos

kirk - bi, baby!

spock - gay gay gay gay

bones - bi, but like, he uses it as a sort of ‘if i tell you about this you are now my closest friend’ kind of way (no i’m not projecting stfu)

sulu - ,,,,gay

chekov - pan

uhura - emmmm,, most days i’m like “that’s a Lesbian right there” but every now and again i’m like “nah she’s pan”

chapel - LESBIAN (suffering for compulsive heterosexuality and Bad Writing)

m’benga - Tired Pansexual

scotty - ,,,,,aro ace

aos

kirk - pan

spock - pan

bones - pan

uhura - pan

chekov - pan

carol - pan

scotty - panromantic asexual

sulu - gay

tng

picard - bi

beverly - bi

riker - bi

deanna - bi

geordie - pan

data - gay

ogawa - pan

q - attracted to picard. that’s the only non-omnipotent being he’s been attracted to ever.

worf - pan, but like,,, Disaster Pan

o brien - ok so he THINKS he’s straight (because i hc him as straight while watching tng, but watching ds9 he’s definitely a Bi In Denial)

keiko - pan

ds9 (ive seen like six episodes so cut me some slack)

sisko - pan. he has the vibes. 

kira - lesbian. lil lesbean. smol angry lesbob.

dax - pan 

o’brien - bi. he has realised he is bi now. 

keiko - still pan and still laughing at her husband’s obliviousness

odo - he’s attracted to quark, but fuck if he knows in what way. probably aro ace, but who fucking knows? not him

quark - pan, no i will not explain

julian - bi bi bi

garek (idk if thats his name ive met him once. im talking about the fashion lizard) - gay

[nyansense-the-nyanbinary]

probably wrapping up the Rainbow Pollination memes, for now

[notalwaysthevillian]

Brewing Love

Warnings: Kissing, allusions to nsfw, food mention

Pairings: Remile; background Logicality, eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: ~1.4k

Read from the beginning!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 7

The rest of the month seemed to whip by. Before Remy could blink, he was sitting on the curb in front of his apartment with his friends, waiting to meet his new roommate.

“Oh, I can’t wait to meet him!” Emile bounced on her toes, silver fabric of her dress bouncing with her. “What’s he like, Patton?”

The bubbly man lit up at the opportunity to talk about his friend. “Virgil is great! He’s a little sarcastic and it takes him a bit to open up to people. But once you’re his friend, he’ll do anything for you.”

A moving van pulled up, cutting off all conversation.

The man who stepped out was not someone Remy could’ve pictured Patton being friends with. His purple hair was shaved on the sides and left long on the top, barely reaching to the top of his eyebrows. The hoodie he was wearing looked handmade. Patches were expertly sewn on, giving it a bit of a ragtag look. Yet somehow it fit with his skinny jeans and combat boots.

“Virgil!”

Virgil barely managed to stabilize himself before he had an armful of Patton. The two of them giggled as they nearly fell over.

Logan’s fond sigh was expected.

Roman’s was not.

Turning, Remy saw the heart eyes directed at Virgil. He grinned, having a feeling it would be all too easy to get the two of them together.

That feeling grew as Virgil locked eyes with Roman and blushed.

It took them the rest of the afternoon to get Virgil moved into the spare bedroom. Since there were quite a few of them, Virgil had been told not to worry about hiring movers. He apologized multiple times as they hauled his furniture upstairs, but was reassured at every turn.

As Roman walked in with a nightstand, Remy pulled out his laptop. “Who’s down for pizza?”

“Me!” Patton and Emile shouted in unison.

Logan rolled up the sleeves on his button down and ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose we do need sustenance.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Remy could see Virgil hovering. “V, what kind of pizza do you like?”

“I don’t care as long as there’s no pineapple.”

A loud gasp grabbed everybody’s attention. Roman threw a hand over his chest. “You don’t like pineapple on pizza? You wound me.”

“Does he always talk like that?” Virgil asked, turning to Patton.

Logan nodded. “Ever since he played the Prince in our college production of Into the Woods.”

“Alright, so a medium pizza with just pineapple for the wounded prince, a large pepperoni, and a large sausage?” Remy asked, double checking the order.

Patton let out a giggle and whispered something to Logan, making his face turn three shades of red.

Knowing if he asked it would be something about Logan’s...sausage, Remy continued with the order. The tracker started blinking. “Alright, it should be here within half an hour.”

Grabbing Logan’s hand, Patton pulled him over to one of the armchairs. As the two of them got comfortable, Roman took the other end of the couch, leaving the other chair open for Virgil.

“I think we should get to know our new friend.” Roman leaned back. “How do you feel about truth or dare?”

“Must we play such a childish game?” Logan shifted, wrapping his arms around Patton’s waist. “Can’t we just ask Virgil questions about his life?”

“Yeah, that sounds way better than your suggestion, Princey.”

“Princey?”

“It suits you.” Virgil smirked.

The five of them started asking questions. Virgil told them about his first pet (a lizard named Gizzard), where he went to college (Florida State), and plenty of other personal tidbits.

“Who was your first kiss?” Roman asked. Remy wouldn’t have been surprised if he batted his eyelashes as he did.

Virgil turned fire engine red. “Um...it was…mmhp.”

“What was that?” Logan leaned forward, resting his chin on Patton’s shoulder.

“It was, um. It was Patton.”

“What?!”

Roman’s outburst made Virgil jump and blush harder. The poor guy was nearing purple at this point.

“He was worried about kissing someone that would turn out to be a jerk.” Patton explained, intertwining his fingers with Logan’s. “So I offered.”

“Do you still like our Pattycake?”

“Roman, that’s not an appropriate question.” Logan snapped, before turning to Virgil. “I feel as though I must reassure you. Anything that happened between you and Patton happened long before we met. I hold no hostility towards you. Patton is an excellent kisser.”

“Aww, Lo!” Twisting around, Patton straddled his boyfriend and started kissing him.

Remy could see Virgil watching, looking somewhere between confused and weirded out. “Yeah, that’s something you’ll have to get used to. When it comes to each other, they kind of forget there’s other people in the room.”

“Patton and Logan, sitting in a tree…” Roman sang.

The couple broke apart just as there was a knock on the door. Roman got up and headed to the door. Virgil moved, taking the vacant spot on the couch.

“I never got to thank you for letting me stay here.”

Remy waved a hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about paying rent until you find a job.”

“Remy, I can’t -”

“Gurl, I’ve been paying for this alone anyway. A few more weeks, months, whatever - it’s not gonna put a dent in my piggy bank.”

Emile pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re so generous.”

“Have you ever worked as a barista? I’m sure Logan could afford to pay another person.” Roman set the pizza down on the coffee table next to some paper plates and grabbed his box. “Lord knows they have the business for it.”

“I don’t know if I could handle something like that.” Virgil grabbed a slice. “People can be really rude when it comes to food service.”

The rest of them exchanged amused looks.

Logan cleared his throat. “Virgil, how would you like a job where you’re allowed to talk back to the customers?”

“That doesn’t exist.”

“Did Patton not tell you about our business?”

Wiping sauce off his chin, Virgil shook his head. “No, he just said you own a coffee shop.”

Leaving Logan to explain the ins and outs of what they did, Remy grabbed some pizza for himself and Emile. Holding it out, he fed her a few bites before eating it himself.

“Hey!” She protested, trying to grab it back. “That’s my piece.”

“It’s mine now.”

Shaking her head at his antics, Emile leaned in. She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him deeply, making his head swim.

Before promptly stealing his pizza.

“Em!”

She giggled, taking a large bite. “Hmm?”

“What were you saying earlier about us tuning others out?” Logan asked, a twinkling glint in his eye.

Remy raised an eyebrow. “I’ve walked in on you and Patton having -”

“Okay, okay!”

“That’s what I thought.” Remy said with a laugh.

Cheeks burning, Logan turned back to Virgil. “As I was saying, if you’d like a job there, it’s yours.”

“Can I come in and see what it’s like first? Before I decide?” Virgil bit his nail, stopping when Patton gave him a stern look.

Logan nodded. “Of course. Just let me know and you can shadow Remy for a day.”

“How about Monday?” Virgil set his empty plate down next to the nearly empty pizza box. “That way I can settle in.”

“Monday is perfect.”

After finishing off the pizza, Logan, Patton, and Roman all headed out. Roman took the rest of his box, shooting a mock glare at Virgil - who responded by sticking out his tongue.

“V, do you mind if Emile stays over?” Remy asked as he broke down the pizza boxes.

Virgil shook his head. “As long as you guys aren’t loud.”

“Oh, we’re not - we haven’t, um…” Blood rushed to his face as he struggled to get the words out. “We’re just sleeping. I swear.”

Virgil filled up a cup with water, gave Remy a nod, and disappeared into his bedroom.

Emile walked out of Remy’s bedroom, her duck slippers quacking with every step. She rubbed her eyes, blindly reaching for Remy.

Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her off to bed.

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